If your adult child is divorcing, help your grandchildren to be better
Grandparents are very important in the lives of grandchildren, especially when their parents are getting divorced.
If your child is getting divorced, you may be worried about how much you will see your grandchildren from now on. Remember that your child needs you above all things and that you must be by his side to give him the attention he needs. But in addition to your child, your grandchildren also need you, but how can you help them if you no longer see them as often?
Index
DON’T USE YOUR GRANDCHILDREN
Your grandchildren need your presence to comfort you, but you should not use them … because they will notice. If you try to use them in any way, it doesn’t matter how subtle you do it, because they’ll know you’re doing it. They will realize that you do not care about them, but that to you, they are a means to an end.
DO NOT INSULT EITHER PARENT
Don’t insult any of your grandchildren’s parents. Sarcasm doesn’t work either, because believe it or not, they pick it up quickly. Your grandchildren are smarter than you think right now.
DO NOT USE THEM TO USE INFORMATION
Never try to obtain information of any kind from children. If you want to know something, you will have to ask the parties involved directly. But never use children to obtain information of any kind.
PROVIDES A STRESS-FREE ENVIRONMENT
Children will need a stress-free, neutral environment that makes them feel safe and secure. If your grandchildren used to visit your home, do your best to keep those visits and the children enjoy them as well.
Don’t mention their parents’ divorce unless the kids do. If they do bring it up, try to limit yourself to expressing sympathy and make sure the children know that the divorce was not their fault and that they also know that they are loved above all else. For children to play outside such as in the garden, it is a great stress reliever for children.
BE DIPLOMATIC WITH THE OTHER GRANDPARENTS
Perhaps during your son’s marriage, you developed healthy relationships with the family of your son’s ex. Perhaps you established a close relationship with the parents of your child’s ex or other family members. Then you will also face a loss of additional relationships and it can make you sad, but also your grandchildren because they will not see you together.
If you live close to the ex’s family members, you can meet them in social situations and so you can also see your grandchildren for longer. In general, it is better to be friendly but not be too close. If you discuss personal things with them, it may also affect your grandchildren and especially your son.
It is better to wait for things to cool down before reestablishing a cordial relationship with the family of your child’s ex. This way reproaches will be less likely to happen.
TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE CELEBRATIONS
Normally, both parts of the family can get together to celebrate grandchildren’s birthdays and other special events. After divorce , many families discard this custom in favor of separate celebrations. Children are unlikely to be bothered by separate celebrations, often with the philosophy that two parts are better than one.
Events that involve larger communities, such as school plays and religious ceremonies, obviously cannot be staged multiple times to meet the needs of the fractured family. On those occasions, courtesy must be observed at all costs. If a family member has bad manners, it is preferable to leave the event immediately rather than ruining the special occasion of your grandchildren.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.