Repeated misbehavior is often a message to listen to.
If your child is misbehaving lately, it’s because maybe … he’s trying to tell you something, he understands his hidden message!
Children will repeat a behavior until they feel heard by their loved ones, especially by their parents. This, of course, can also happen with bad behavior. Children may try to communicate something in a negative way because they do not feel heard and think that their physical or emotional needs are not being taken into account .
For example, if a child in a supermarket thinks that you ignore their demands, perhaps because they do not feel heard, they will end up having a tantrum in the middle of the store … When they ask you a question, it is necessary to answer them and if they want something from the store and you tell them that no, explain why you can’t meet or meet that demand. Like for example when they ask you for a bag of goodies in the store when you are doing the weekly shopping.
Do not ignore your children when they ask you something because if you do, that will not stop their insistence that you listen. They will go to more until they feel that you have listened to them, even if it means having a bad behavior.
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LISTEN TO THEIR BAD BEHAVIOR
Listening to your child does not mean that you always give him what he wants. Instead, your goal should be to communicate that you have listened to them and that you are going to respond with respect, the same respect you want when they speak to you.
Yelling things like, “NO because I said so” is not a good approach to parenting. Instead, you can respond something like, “no, we haven’t had lunch yet, but you can have dessert after dinner if you behave today,” the behavior is most likely good. The child feels that you listened to them and, furthermore, you understood that their wish was something sweet (the trinkets).
Explaining that they may have something sweet later as a result of their good behavior, he puts the ball back on your court. They now have the choice to behave well to get what they want later, or they may misbehave, which will result in the consequence of no dessert after dinner, and of course no trinkets.
THEY NEED YOUR TIME
Your children need time to let them know that they are important to you. This will stop their bad behavior because it is a way of understanding that you respect them. Children need you to listen to them, to explain them, to argue less and respect them more … it is not an easy path, but it is a necessary path.
Children will be more successful in life if they learn to properly channel their emotions and to communicate well with you and the rest of the world. You must understand that communication is a two-way street, not just one.
Don’t ignore their words until it becomes bad behavior. If the behavior seems out of control, then you need to help him verbalize his wishes. They are communicating something through their behavior. You need to help channel the behavior back into meaningful verbalization to figure out what it wants and how to resolve the situation.
THE WEATHER OF THE EMOTIONAL STORM
It is not easy to raise children. You will probably endure many emotional storms while caring for and educating your children … it is part of parenting . You have to continue doing what is best for your children, listening to and loving them every day, even if their behavior is not what you want at all times.
Don’t be overcome by emotional storms like tantrums, bad behavior, or a rebellious attitude. You should know that this is going to happen and that it is something normal. There are parents who are also going through the same thing as you, so if necessary, even find a support group for parents . If you feel too stressed by your child’s bad behavior, then you will need to seek help to guide you in your child’s emotional understanding.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.