If you have an adolescent child, you may have realized that it is more complicated than how you remembered it (when you experienced it in the first person). Your parents probably have another memory of your adolescence , perhaps also much more complicated. Adolescence is a difficult road for both parents and children.
It is very difficult to see that a son mistreats a brother , and it even seems that you are surprised to see him, that he does not seem to be the son that you have been raising all these years … what is happening? Is your teenager really starting to behave “mean”? Next we are going to talk about this and that you realize that there is really no evil in their actions, it just needs learning.
IS IT REALLY BAD BEHAVIOR?
Adolescents also suffer the ravages of their own adolescence and feel that things are becoming difficult for them. Hormones, peer pressure, social problems, and academic challenges all play a role in creating tremendous stress . Those pent-up feelings can be contained around teachers and friends, but they have to manifest at some point , or they fuel anxiety and depression.
Unfortunately, the dump valve is the life of the home, the people, and the place where children feel safe enough to let it all flow out. It’s not personal … keep this in mind at all times.
LOOK FOR THE GOOD
Your teenager is not bad, he just doesn’t know that he can have a better version of himself. They may know that they are misbehaving but they don’t know how to stop it (the same thing happens to many adults …). As your child teen is doing something good, tell them . Don’t just keep bitter words to yourself when he does something wrong. .. If you highlight what he is doing well, you are helping him to know that you still see the good person he is, even though he sometimes has negative behaviors.
ENCOURAGE CLOSENESS AND CONNECTION
It is much more difficult to be cruel to someone when we feel like we like them. Look for opportunities to share a laugh, make a dessert, or have a hug while watching a movie together. Your teen needs it, even if you feel like he’s pulling away with his unpleasant behavior.
DISRUPTED BEHAVIOR AGAINST SIBLINGS
If your teen starts lashing out at a younger sibling or you, see if you can break the momentum and help him find himself again. This may not always work , but sometimes a young man who is in a constant negative uproar will be immensely grateful when we help him out of that cycle of self-destruction.
To break it, you can play tag at home, fight with water pistols in the garden, put on loud music to dance … It may work and that by the way, you will have a great time together.
CREATE AN HONEST CONVERSATION
Teach your children to listen without interrupting, not to roll their eyes, or to argue instead of talking . Your job is to teach your children to express what they feel and also know how to communicate properly with their siblings.
Sincerity is necessary for communication to be effective. In this sense, remember that for there to be good communication with your children, you must first work that communication with them. Since they are small, children learn to communicate by looking at you how you talk with others and also taking into account how your relationship has been with them since they were born. When they reach adolescence, the children will have a communication with you that will be the fruits that you have cultivated for so long. If you have cultivated it well, the fruits will be good … but if you have cultivated it badly, you may not have fruits to collect and you will have to start sowing again.