The consequences of gender violence on children
Children are still very unprotected in gender violence, when the consequences of mistreatment of the mother are as harmful as child abuse.
The campaign against gender violence carried out by the Government of Spain in 2015 gives visibility to one of the realities of abuse that we often forget: children. The consequences that sexist violence has on children encompass the psychological and physical plane, but we must not forget that it also harms society in general , in the sense that it encourages violent behaviors and the perpetuation of sexism.
Children should not be considered as alien to abuse, in the sense that we assume that they suffer, but once they are out of the home, everything is done. They need to have a specific framework for them , know their specific needs and act on them as soon as possible. And it is that many expert authors in child abuse affirm and endorse that exposure to gender violence is direct child abuse, and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) adds: “Witnessing domestic violence can be as traumatic for the child as being the victim of physical or sexual abuse “ . Therefore, there is no doubt that we cannot leave these children unprotected.
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THE CONSEQUENCES OF GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE ON CHILDREN
If a child grows up in a home where there is gender violence, he or she usually adopts one or more of these four roles: the mini-aggressor , who allies with the father and treats his mother badly; the victim’s confidant , in which the child identifies with his or her mother and feels exactly the same as the mother in each situation; the protector , according to which the boy or girl sees himself with the responsibility of taking care of his mother and his siblings, and even tries to confront the father, and finally there is the referee , who tries to mediate so that there are no conflicts, but they are not capable because it does not depend on them and they are constantly frustrated.
Clearly, we see that in all these situations the child is being deprived of a healthy and happy childhood, and this will bring multiple negative consequences. According to Wolak (1998) and Barudy (2004), we can find the following changes in the life and development of children exposed to situations of gender violence:
Physical problems:
– Stunted growth
– Eating behavior disorders
– Sleep disorders
– Delayed motor skills
– Psychosomatic symptoms, such as: allergies, asthma, eczema, headaches, tummy pain, nocturnal enuresis …)
Psychological and social problems:
– Anxiety
– Ira
– Social isolation
– Self-esteem problems
– Post-traumatic stress disorder
– Attachment or bonding disorders
– Problems developing empathy
Cognitive problems:
– Delayed language learning and verbal development
– Delayed cognitive development
Behavioral problems:
– Violence towards others
– tantrums
– More likely to develop ADHD
– Self-destructive behaviors and increased risk of drug use in adolescence
Many of these symptoms, or disorders that children can develop, are closely related to each other. For example, experiencing constant anger and hostility at home generates those same feelings in children. Thus, when they have a problem or feel frustration , this will be the way they try to get what they want, whether with their parents, at school, with their friends, etc.
It is important to highlight anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) . When a psychological evaluation and treatment is carried out in children after having suffered gender violence in their own home, it is common to find symptoms of this disorder in them. These children recall over and over again, without wanting to do so intentionally, situations of violence at home, they are constantly alert, irritable, have difficulty sleeping, have nightmares, withdraw socially, find it difficult to carry out their routine activities, etc. . Many of these signs respond to a picture of anxiety, which is derived from TETP.
Continued anxiety and stress have consequences at the physical health level, and the child’s immune system is weakened, so it is not uncommon for them to get sick easily, and hence have physical symptoms. Nor should we forget that the fact that a woman is being subjected to physical and psychological abuse during pregnancy affects the development of the fetus, either by direct physical impact, or derived from the stress suffered by the woman.
The two most serious consequences that may exist for the child are: first, that the death of the mother is known , and above all, it is the sons or daughters who witness it, and on the other hand, the death of the minor. In the last decade, 44 children have been killed by a father who abused the mother , so we are not talking about endangering the health of the child, but his own life. Many times, these deaths are caused as a way of psychologically mistreating the mother: harming her children.
THE SOCIAL MODELS THESE CHILDREN ARE LEARNING
In addition to the devastating consequences that gender violence has on children’s day-to-day lives, this will have repercussions on their adult life if they do not receive comprehensive care to minimize the impact that the situation in their home has had on their development. Children raised in an extremely macho and violent environment will learn:
– A wrong role model: creating macho children
Children learn from watching it at home that both inside and outside the home men have a dominant role.
– Send the strongest
Man is dominant, but it is because he is stronger, because he uses force and violence to achieve his goals, and he succeeds. If you are not the strongest, you have to be submissive.
– Problems are solved with screaming and violence
The child will learn that when a person does not do what he wants, he must insult or hit him so that he ends up doing it. In addition, the constant discomfort and frustration that the child experiences on a daily basis makes him be more aggressive.
INTERVENTION WITH CHILDREN EXPOSED TO GENDER VIOLENCE
Thus, these factors favor that in adolescence and adulthood, children repeat similar patterns in their romantic relationships. Girls are more likely to take on a submissive role with their partners, and boys may use violence against their partners if they are women. But it is not a rule of three , nor do these situations necessarily have to occur, since the role models are not due to one factor only, but to many and very diverse circumstances, nor does it mean that there is no solution or hope for these children.
Yes, there is possible intervention, but at a comprehensive level: psychological, social, at school, at home, etc. Children should receive action from psychology professionals to correct their emotional problems (anxiety, post-traumatic stress, depression, etc.) if any. They will also be taught strategies to tolerate frustration and react assertively and non-violently to problems that may arise. Finally, a psychosocial intervention should teach them gender equality , and not interpret the roles of each person from machismo.
But, clearly, for children to be able to turn the page with gender-based violence, they must have left that situation of violence with their mother, and many resources are needed to do so. Resources that help the mother and children to leave home , be protected and take into account the needs of each. Numerous international organizations make their recommendations, such as Save The Children in its report Gender violence. There is not a single victim.
And, if we want to go more to the root of the problem, machismo and the domination of the male role in society are perpetuating different forms of male violence against women, both inside and outside the home, which are affecting our children and also making them internalize those social rules. To end sexist violence, it is necessary to educate in equality.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.