Correct your child’s behavior, NOT their emotions
Parents must learn to differentiate between behavior and emotions in children, and educate accordingly!
Sometimes children can have a too dramatic behavior, their emotions are irrational and sometimes, disproportionate to the situation, it is normal and that does not have to worry you more than necessary. Children should be allowed to feel, but this does not mean that they can behave however they want.
If your child breaks the rules, hurts other people, or misbehaves socially. Work with your children on emotions, that they learn to name it and tell them that it is okay for them to feel angry, sad, scared, exalted or whatever other emotion they are experiencing right now.
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DON’T MINIMIZE OR DENY YOUR CHILDREN’S EMOTIONS
Children who think that they should not feel in a certain way will do their best to avoid pain and this is not good because pain is a healing process (both physical and emotional) . Similarly, children who think that being angry is not good will not want to defend themselves when they are treated badly. Actually, anger is not a bad thing to feel. It is the way children choose to deal with their anger that can lead to healthy or unhealthy choices.
You do not have to change your child’s emotions, if not the behavior. To do this, avoid phrases such as:
-Stop crying or you will cry for good reason
-Shut up now, you’re being very heavy
-Stop being a baby
-Don’t worry about that nonsense
-Stop being so dramatic
SEPARATE EMOTION FROM BEHAVIOR
You need to learn to differentiate what your child does from how he feels. Anger is a feeling and hitting is a behavior. Sadness is a feeling and yelling is a behavior. Instead of convincing your child not to feel certain things, teach him to handle the emotions that are most uncomfortable. For example, if he feels anger, teach him how to channel it but tell him that feeling it is normal only that a tantrum is not correct.
PROVIDES CONFIDENCE IN THE FACE OF DISCOMFORT
There are parents who think that to raise a mentally strong one is about raising a child without emotions … But nothing could be further from the truth. Mentally strong children acknowledge their emotions and then choose healthy ways to deal with those feelings. Teach your children that they are capable of handling those uncomfortable feelings, such as when they feel anxiety. However, if you send the message that anxiety is bad, she can avoid doing things that make her feel anxious and this is unhealthy.
Show your child that uncomfortable emotions are part of life and that sometimes we behave in a way that is contrary to how we feel and it is also normal as long as we are aware of them. For example, talk about how you can still treat others kindly, even on days when you feel sad. Show your child that on days when you feel sad, you still go to work. Make it clear that sometimes you have to get things done, even when you don’t feel like it.
HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONS
When you teach your child to handle emotions, they can learn to handle situations in a more assertive and empathetic way. You will have a great improvement in your behavior. To help your child understand his feelings :
-Name the emotions
-Teaches skills to face the most complicated situations
-Teach your child that he can have control over feelings
-Maintain good discipline for inappropriate behavior
-Don’t let your child use emotions as an excuse
Once your children learn to have more control over their emotions, they will feel more secure and confident in themselves! And therefore, your self-esteem will also be strengthened.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.