Limit-based discipline
Boundary-based discipline is a form of discipline that helps children feel safe and secure at all times.
Boundary-based discipline is a critical tool for disciplining children successfully. The theory behind boundary-based discipline is simple: Children behave well when they feel safe. Boundary-based discipline involves setting clear boundaries that show children what they are allowed to do and what is off limits. Later, when children know what the consequences are for going out of bounds, they will know that they can choose behavior with the consequences in mind.
In accordance with limit-based discipline, children will test limits to see how caregivers will react. But, when they know the limits and the consequences, they are less likely to test their caregivers or to ‘test’ them. Consequently, behavioral problems are reduced.
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EXAMPLES OF HOW CHILDREN TEST CAREGIVERS
Children of any age enjoy testing limits to see what they can do. Here are some common examples of how children test limits:
- A 4-year-old who knows that he is not allowed to stand on furniture, leans on the arm of the sofa on his knees to see if his parents respond.
- A 6-year-old boy says: ‘no!’ When you are told to brush your teeth in the hope that you can continue to watch TV longer.
- An 8-year-old says, “I’ll do it in a few minutes. I’m almost to the next level of my game,” when told to set the table for dinner.
- A 10-year-old boy who lost his privileges to play outside during the day insists he has to take the dog out.
- A 12-year-old girl sees that her mother is talking on the phone, so she goes into the kitchen to eat secretly when her mother has told her not to eat anything else.
- A 14 year old boy is told that he has to turn off the computer and uses his phone to continue doing what he was doing on the computer.
- A 16-year-old boy comes home 30 minutes after curfew because nothing happened when he arrived 5 minutes later the night before.
LIMIT-BASED DISCIPLINE
Boundary-based discipline uses a variety of discipline techniques to address when rules are broken. Here are some common limit-based discipline strategies:
- Communicate limits. Establish internal rules and keep a written list of them in a place in the home that looks good. When you have expectations that are not on the list, you will have to speak them again. For example; “You’ll have to tidy up your bedroom if you want to go out with your friends.”
- Give warnings whenever possible. Try to give a five minute warning for transitions. You can say something like, “In five minutes, it will be time to clear the game so you can set the table.” When your child is testing the limits , offer a warning, for example: ‘If you don’t take the game off in 5 minutes and start setting the table, you won’t be able to go out with your friends this afternoon.’
- Offer options. Think of options so that your children can see that their behaviors can have negative consequences, but also positive ones. Say things like: ‘You can turn off the game and set the table or you can play and lose the opportunity to play the tablet all day.’ In this way you are not forcing your children to do something, but it is their responsibility to make a choice.
- Logical consequences. A logical consequence, like taking away computer privileges from a child because he refused to turn off his video game , makes sense. The consequence is directly related to bad behavior.
- Natural consequences. Natural consequences help children learn from their own mistakes while teaching them responsibility. If your child forgets to put away his shoes to go soccer, the natural consequence could be that he has to go home.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.