Don’t go overboard with the compliments!
How many compliments do you usually give your children a day? If you go overboard with the compliments, it can have the opposite effect than expected …
Praise is a good strategy in children’s education because it reinforces positive behavior and helps them want to do better next time. It boosts their self-esteem and it also helps them understand that you can do everything they set out to do. They feel that others believe in their ability and it makes them feel good. But beware! If you go over praise, the effect may be the opposite.
If you misuse praise on children and they realize that they are unreal, they will feel that your words are empty. The consequence of this is that the child will have more insecurity and anxiety. If you think that children do not notice these. ‘false praise’, you are wrong. They have some special radar, like a sensor, that helps them quickly identify when a compliment is false and when it is real. So if you want it to really work, it will always have to be true.
Index
TOO MUCH PRAISE, IT WILL ALWAYS HAVE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
The compliments, as you already know, should be real and only at the right times. Maybe you feel a bit lost in this ‘the right times’ thing. How do you know when a moment is correct and when it is not? You will have to be attentive in key moments so that you have the compliments under control and be able to offer them only when they are needed.
It is also true that if you always praise your children for everything, and are always ‘in the know’ to offer a compliment, it can also be counterproductive. In this case, children can become dependent and always seek the approval of other people instead of looking for it in themselves, which is what really matters.
It is necessary to know how to make good observations that express appreciation or enjoyment, at the same time that you encourage them to be positive critics of themselves. May they be able to feel their ability and their achievements .
22 APPROPRIATE PHRASES TO PRAISE CHILDREN
If at any time your child does things that give him satisfaction or that really deserve recognition, you can say the phrases from the following list. In this way, you will be praising him correctly without going overboard and he will realize that what you really say are sincere words.
- I knew you were going to make that good decision.
- You have some very interesting ideas.
- Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn’t realized it.
- I love that creative way you solve the problem.
- Even when it’s difficult, you keep trying, I’m proud of you.
- I trust you.
- I hadn’t thought of it that way.
- I like the way you see things!
- I am very inspired by what you say (or do).
- That was very brave of you.
- When I see you this happy you make my day.
- I love watching you try new things, even when you’re scared to do so.
- I couldn’t imagine doing this without your help
- How do you think we should approach this problem?
- I love how you bring fun to our family.
- I love how you make me laugh.
- You bring a lot of goodness to the family.
- That was very considerate of you.
- Thanks for going the extra mile.
- You have given me something important to think about.
- This has really made me feel good.
- I am very lucky to be your mother (father, grandfather, uncle …).
With these types of phrases, you will be praising the child without having to label him. If you tag a child with a compliment saying things like, ‘You’re so smart,’ this can put a lot of pressure on the little one. An unfair pressure since in that way if he is not ‘ smart ‘ enough to impress you, his self-esteem could drop and he could have insecurity in his abilities.
Instead, with these types of phrases, you will be given the kind of boost that you really need, not only to repeat the good behavior , but also, to realize that it is real and that you are capable.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.