The menarche or first menstruation of a girl is as important a moment for her as for her mother. It is even more so for the mother who sees in this change the passage from girl to woman of her daughter . The first rule involves entering puberty, adolescence and ultimately adulthood. There are many changes that the young woman will experience in a few months and it is important that her mother accompany her in this process.
It doesn’t have to be traumatic or conflictive. And her mother has to help make it as natural as possible. It is something expected and as a mother you have to be prepared for this change and help your daughter in everything that she will discover from her first period . So the best thing is that you are prepared for when it happens, because menstruation comes without warning.
However, it is something that comes to all girls, sooner or later. The 12 years is the average age in which the menarche or first period is had, reason why a pair of years before the mother already can begin to think about how to face this change. Sometimes menstruation is earlier and makes an appearance when she is 9 years old and other times it is delayed, she spends 16. In today’s PregDream article we will tell you how to help and guide your daughter in this stage.
PUBERTY AND MENSTRUATION
Puberty is a long process, lasting several years, in which the change from girl to woman occurs. The first signs of this new stage begin with an important stretch and, later, the development of the breasts, the appearance of pubic hair and later the menstruation will arrive. There are several symptoms that indicate that your first period is yet to come. You can go preparing it.
Girls today have much more information than us what is puberty, menstruation, sexual desire and relationships of couples . These are topics that are dealt with normally. They are no longer taboo in the family or at school. And that is important, because your daughter will assume the arrival of menstruation as normal as it should.
If you have not discussed these issues with your daughter, it is important that you do so. Introduce the conversation little by little and do it with the appropriate naturalness. In the past, girls were scared when they saw that they bled and did not know why they were bleeding . Fortunately, that ignorance no longer exists and it is a relief for everyone, for the mother and for the daughter.
WHEN TO TELL HER ABOUT THE CHANGES
The conversation about puberty, menstruation and the changes that your daughter will experience should also be introduced as something natural , not to organize a show or a drama around it. You should do it at a time when she feels comfortable and calm – a good option is in the privacy of the home – and you can count on the support of nieces, aunts or older daughters to make the atmosphere more relaxed.
Introduce the subject normally, talking, for example, that if your period makes you feel bloated, if you have to buy pads or tampons because it is coming or if you have calculated whether or not it is your turn when you go on vacation.
The point is that your daughter sees that menstruation is not traumatic at all, that it is a natural process that every woman goes through and that couples have a series of consequences. One of the issues that most worries a girl when her first period is about to come are the pain she may have and the limitations.
Talk about it normally, that it is natural that you have pain in your ovaries and breasts or that your head hurts. If you also suffer them when your menstruation comes, surely you already know them and that [quotei] Our daughter must see that she can trust her mother for any issue [/ quotei] does not feel so strange. The same happens with the bloating that many of us experience when we have the period or the mood swings that we can have in those days. Do not just tell him that it is normal for him to have them, but you should also tell him that they are all consequences of the hormonal change that he is experiencing. And above all reassured. The rule is something that all women go through once a month without creating drama.
Infusions, the application of heat, rest or anti-inflammatories are an extra help to cope with pre menstrual syndrome and will become your allies, just as they are yours . It is also common that coinciding with her first period your daughter suffers a low iron . Consult your doctor and if you think it is necessary to prescribe a vitamin supplement.
The arrival of the first period, puberty in its maximum splendor and the arrival of adolescence cause the relationship between mother and daughter to suffer. She feels older and wants to be more independent from her parents . It is normal, if you do a little memory you will remember that you went through something similar. And also that it was a stage.
At this time you have to be more understanding and above all be patient to avoid unnecessary conflicts. It has to see in you an ally, not an enemy. This does not mean that you have to compromise with everything your daughter says or does, only that you will have to raise your hand more and seek to get closer to her through dialogue .
You have to be able to gain trust so that when she has a question or problem she comes to you because she knows that you are going to help her , not scold her or get angry. Reaching that level of trust is key for both you and her to maintain a good relationship during puberty.
THE FIRST RULE
It is also important that there is this complicity between mother and daughter for when her first period comes, that she feels that she can tell you how she is and what changes she is experiencing. She buys pads and tampons with her so she can see that it is normal, nothing to be ashamed of or to feel rejection of.
Ask him which ones he prefers and recommend which ones you think are best for him based on the flow and activity he performs. At the end of the day, you are the expert and you are sure to be advised. Make her feel safe with herself and with the intimate hygiene products that she is going to use . One of the biggest fears that a girl has when her period comes is that others will notice it, that it will stain her clothes or that they will see that she has a compress in her bag. To avoid this, explain that it is best to carry a reserve in your bag and deal with intimate matters with discretion.
Finally, do not forget that menstruation can be somewhat unstable . You may have your first period and then not hear from it for months . Explain that it is normal, but that it is something that you have to know to go to the doctor in case of detecting something irregular.