Witnessing the loss of love between parents, experiencing family conflicts, starting to live different ways of life to which one was accustomed … Divorce is an invasive change in the life of any child, regardless of age that you have. Divorce can directly affect the development of your children and it is very important that you take this into account in order to know how to approach situations.
FIRST OF ALL, EXPLAIN THE NEW FAMILY DYNAMICS
Young children are very self-centered and will think that it is their fault that you have separated . They feel that the world revolves around them and therefore, they will think that if you separate it is because of something wrong that they have done. It is necessary that both you and your ex partner explain that it is not like that, that he is not to blame for anything.
HOW DIVORCE AFFECTS CHILD DEVELOPMENT
If you just separate when your child is potty training, the change may affect him and he will start wetting the bed again. This has to do with the anxiety and worry they feel inside. It is very important that you are aware of this so that you understand why it is happening and they do not get even more stressed than they already may be.
All of this can lead to a change in their behavior. They may complain and get angry more than usual or faster. This will be the result of feeling insecure in the current situation. They are also likely to push boundaries to get your attention, and you need to maintain good discipline in order to provide proper structure and order at home.
THE RULES CANNOT BE ABSENT
The rules at home, the limits, the rules of coexistence, will be essential at all times. You should discuss them with your ex partner to be able to follow the same line. If one thing is done in one house and another different in another, children will feel unprotected and insecure and where there are fewer rules, they will behave in a rebellious way, tightening the limits whenever they can. But it is not bad behavior, it is simply a response to the insecurity they feel.
For this reason, it is necessary that both your ex partner and you have the same structures at home or the same rules. Otherwise, children will begin to manipulate situations or play to see how far they can go, generating conflict situations and a lot of family stress.
HOW TO MAKE AN EASIER TRANSITION
Children will need the support and understanding of their parents. For that you will have to enhance their strengths, their skills, they must know how much you love them and above all, it is essential that they spend quality time with both their father and mother. Do not hesitate to go out to the garden with your children, walk in nature, do activities together, play at home, help you with household chores, give them responsibilities, etc.
Try to have open communication with their teachers to see if they are doing well in school or if there has been any setbacks. Talk to your children about any issue that worries them, they should know that you will continue to be by their side whenever they need you. The drawings of your children are also very representative. Look at pictures that represent the family, since this can tell you a lot about what goes on inside.
In addition, it is also very important that you speak well of your ex in front of them, because no matter how much you resent him or the circumstances are not easy at all, remember that he will always be his father or mother and that, no one can change it. Establish a sense of family order even in different homes.