How Narcissistic Parents Affect Children
Living with narcissistic parents is not easy, indeed, there are often emotional consequences that are quite difficult to overcome.
It does not matter if it is a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder, children can be affected in the same way. A person who has a narcissistic personality disorder will only think about himself and how to attract attention so that others only revolve around him. Narcissistic people want to be the navel of the world and feel how other people praise them and at home, like couples and even children, serve them.
But when children have fathers or mothers like that, they have a really bad time. They can be affected and grow up amidst uncertainties, thinking that they are not loved by their parents and they will feel confused for many years. In addition, it can also happen that children when they grow up, already in adolescence, seek that affective deficiency in toxic relationships or even in addictive substances.
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HOW IT AFFECTS THE CHILDREN
Children of narcissistic mothers often deal with a roller coaster of childhood emotions. They constantly try to please their parents, trying not to upset their big ego. They think that he is the only person in the world who is capable of providing unconditional love and increasing self-confidence.
On the other hand, his narcissistic father or mother will only know how to be critical, judge him, speak ill of his defects, tell him that he does everything wrong, and even manipulate his childhood only for and to satisfy his own needs. As if that were not enough, they will accuse their children of being ungrateful and they will never be enough for them, because they do not know how to empathize or accept others (because they do not accept themselves even if they try to give the image of the opposite).
These children will spend their lives growing up and waiting for a love that never came, an approval that didn’t happen. Some will need therapy to manage the emotions of anger and resentment that they will be storing. Others unconsciously, as they grow up, will look for partners who are also narcissistic to try to ‘fix’ that broken relationship from their childhood, as if they could unconsciously fix the broken relationship they had with their mother. Or they could even become narcissistic fathers or mothers, continuing the learned patterns and where unfortunately, their children would suffer again what they suffered as children.
HOW TO COPE WITH HAVING A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER OR FATHER
If you feel that you have or have had a narcissistic mother or father, you can learn some ways to cope with these feelings. It is possible that if you visit the homes of your family or friends, you meet other family dynamics that make you envious and that make you realize that there was something in your life that was not right. You need to realize this in order to break free.
Try not to associate with people who have a narcissistic personality type as you will feel trapped in uncomfortable encounters and they will remind you of the same pain that you felt as a child.
Living with a narcissistic mother or father can cause your energy to run low. Maintain your personal space and have a place where you can go to find peace, whether it is in your room to take a family member .
It is also important that you seek external support, to speak with someone who really listens to you. It can be a therapist, companion, a friend, etc. If you are an adult you do not have to feel bad when you are even under the influence of your mother, it is something totally normal that happens to the children of narcissistic parents.
WHAT TO DO TO BE BETTER
If you want to be better, you can get it by talking to a professional. Narcissistic parents can emotionally tear their children apart and make them unconsciously seek out narcissistic partners who will be equally toxic to them. It is for this reason that you can consider the option of seeking professional help so that this does not happen to you.
Another way to be okay is to keep your distance from a narcissistic mother or father . You don’t have to talk to your mother or father every day or be in the same room constantly. Keep a safe distance so that you can feel good without breaking the relationship with your parent.
Also less important that you choose not to do what your parents did to you. If you are going to be a father or mother, be aware of how bad your childhood was in order to offer your children a truly happy childhood .
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.