How to detect if your child suffers bullying at school
The abuse by schoolmates, both physical and psychological, causes a drastic change in the behavior of minors, who are usually embarrassed by the situation.
Bullying is a form of mistreatment between equals . Bullying, bullying, bullying, are all terms that refer to any form of psychological, verbal or physical abuse produced between schoolchildren repeatedly during a certain time.
Index
IS BULLYING COMMON IN SCHOOLS?
It is increasingly common to find cases of bullying in classrooms. Normally, this type of harassment begins to be seen in primary school classrooms, but from the nursery classrooms, where the little ones are 3 to 6 years old, is where you have to start working on the prevention of these mistreatments.
Both schools, teachers and parents have the obligation to inform ourselves about what is happening today, and thus be able to prevent it, or know how to act in the case in which our child may be the victim, or the harasser.
DIFFERENT TYPES OF BULLYING
Various studies have been conducted on the different types of peer abuse.
Studies such as those by Ortega and Mora-Merchan (2009), Díaz-Aguado (1996), OMS (2002), and Rigby (1996), among others.
Of all the studies, we can analyze the different ways in which bullying can occur, five types are distinguished:
· Verbal aggression: With insults or with nicknames that socially isolate the victim, they discredit her, and she feels alone and with very low self-esteem in front of the other colleagues who reject her because of her abuser.
· Social aggression: The victim is marginalized within the class group. He is not allowed to intervene in class, or participate in activities, organize events, etc. It may be that this type of bullying is difficult to detect, since teachers may think that it is the victim’s personality that has difficulty in relating socially, but it may be a case of bullying. The victims of this type of aggression are victims of a shy , introverted character .
· Psychological aggression: In this type of aggression the victim is continually mocked, humiliated and underestimated. So the victim feels very insecure and suffers fear. Their self-esteem is very low or null because of this mistreatment.
· Direct physical aggression: Receiving blows, shoves, slaps, or collective physical aggression, group beatings.
· Indirect physical aggression: They steal objects from the victim, school supplies, break his coat, backpack, hide it, etc.
HOW DO I KNOW IF MY CHILD IS A VICTIM OF BULLYING?
From an early age we must educate our children in the values of respect , friendship, non-aggression and trust, in order to always be able to talk about all issues, express their feelings, their doubts, their fears, or whatever may happen to them. . If they go to the family, the parents will be able to act, if they do not turn to us, it will be difficult for us to detect that they are being bullied.
BULLYING AFFECTS MORE AND MORE CHILDREN AND BEGINS IN PRIMARY SCHOOL
Behaviors that indicate that our child suffers from school bullying
– He doesn’t want to go to school and skips class, things that have never happened before.
– The last of the school always leaves, as it is expected to go out alone.
– He changes his routes from home to school, and from school to home, when before he always took the same path.
– At home he hides the problem, he hardly talks about school.
– Shows physical pain, cries.
– He looks sad, and we detect mood swings.
– Shows anger or rage.
– It seems to be more childish.
– Nightmares, loss of appetite, enuresis, vomiting.
– Can pretend illness or discomfort to avoid going to class.
– State of anxiety, nervousness, could trigger panic attacks.
– Low self-esteem.
– He spends more time at home than before, he no longer goes out to play with his friends.
– Look for younger friends. Well, with them he feels safe.
– Gradually begins to decline in school performance.
– Loses interest in studying, school work or homework.
– He asks us for money without saying what he needs it for, when he never did before.
– Do the jobs or duties of others.
– He shows signs of physical aggression and when asked what has happened he becomes aggressive, nervous, does not respond naturally and lies.
– He is often missing personal school items, pencils, folder, books, he always says that he has lost or neglected them.
AND … IF OUR SON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BULLYING
When we talk about bullying, we always talk about victims, the parents or relatives of the victims, and the consequences of these. But what if my child is the aggressor? How can I know that my child is abusing or assaulting?
Behind an aggressor there is also a family, parents, grandparents, siblings. To know if our son is responsible or participates in some type of bullying, we must also be very attentive to his behavior, although it is not easy to detect it because they usually hide it very well, so as not to be discovered.
Behaviors that tell us that our child is the aggressor
– Has aggressive or impulsive behaviors with family members.
– In games we see that he gets angry very easily if he loses.
– We found among his things objects that are not his.
– We see how angry he is, mood swings with aggressiveness, high tone when speaking.
– He is very intolerant at home.
– Insults or mocks the family, or characters on TV.
– He makes very nasty jokes.
– He is dissatisfied, he always wants more.
– Their school performance is usually low.
– Frequently they call us from the school because it is involved in conflicts.
– He does not control his reactions if something is denied him, or a certain schedule is imposed on him.
– From school they warn us of a change in attitude.
WHERE SHOULD WE GO IF MY CHILD IS A VICTIM OR GUILTY OF BULLYING?
If we evidence these or some of these changes in our pre-adolescent or adolescent children, we must go to school, speak with the tutor or director. They can help us find a professional who can give us some guidelines to solve the conflict.
In many cases of bullying, the teachers are the ones who solve it from school, because fortunately they are not very serious cases. We must always maintain a relationship of trust with the school, and in any case be able to count on their support, to be able to help our children, and educate them in non-aggression, friendship, tolerance, respect, so that they are adults responsible and free.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.