How to foster friendship between siblings
If our sons or daughters begin to show jealousy and rivalry between them, we must act as soon as possible to prevent the problem from worsening.
It is a very common and normal case that in families with two or more children, small problems, jealousy, envy, selfish behaviors, etc. may appear among them. This type of behavior has a lot to do with the age of the siblings, how many years they are different from each other , and sometimes also their gender, since there is a tendency to treat sons and daughters differently.
The rivalry between siblings is common, especially a new member when it comes to family and feel they are given more attention to the new baby or when they feel that older siblings have more freedom to do whatever they want . These are typical problems that are seen forever over the years. Competition is normal between siblings, although it shouldn’t be, and too much becomes a problem.
The most normal thing is that a brother is jealous of another because of the things he has, the attention he is given, or the achievements he obtains. The younger the siblings are, the more common and what parents have to do is turn that jealousy into pride, we have to educate our children so that they rejoice when their brother or sister achieves an achievement, that they somehow feel happy of being his or her siblings.
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TURN RIVALRY INTO PRIDE
We have to try to foster friendship in our children so that when they carry out some activity, competition, some objective in their life, they focus on their own marks, it is their grades or their grades and they do not seek to compare themselves with their brother or sister. .
All children want to draw the attention of their parents, but sometimes this attention cannot be divided equally between siblings and there will be moments of inequality in it. If we feel that our son or daughter feels ignored or upset because his brother is always in the center of attention, we should talk to him, try to clarify why we are paying more attention to him at that moment, and help him not to feel left out . You have to find ways to get along and help them feel better and let go of jealousy for their brother.
When our children are jealous and frustrated by their brothers it is easy for them to lose their temper and then we have to help them to avoid fights between brothers and sisters to improve friendship and get along.
RESOLVE IMMEDIATE CONFLICTS
To start with, we have to tell them that when they feel so angry, take a deep breath and try to think about what is happening, if they are really angry with their sister or brother or are they really just angry with the situation that is developing in the moment and how they feel about it. Talking it with them we can get them to understand it and friendship emerge and we have a solution for a fit of anger and jealousy that can trigger more future problems and does not help them get along.
We have to convey to them that they are still worth a lot, it is possible that their brother or sister has won a contest, obtained a high grade in exams or some other achievement, and then we will remind them that in other subjects for example they should improve, and that they themselves have your own accomplishments and goals that you are currently working on.
We must encourage our sons and daughters to congratulate their siblings on their achievements and share their happiness which can be doubled if they are together. If they do this, it is most likely that between siblings this will be reciprocal, reducing rivalry and improving the environment in the family.
MONITOR OUR TREATMENT OF EACH OF THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS
We ourselves, as fathers and mothers, must accustom the family to get along and take into account all our children when we deal with them , when we do some activity with them, when we give them a gift, a celebration … We have to be aware that in these cases the siblings are going to feel estranged, therefore we must try to have constant equality between our children so that, if there is any inequality in dealing with them, it is minimal and cannot be a source of problems. If there is already a great rivalry, we have to take this point even more into account and pay more attention to the behaviors of our children.
The sooner we have these talks with our children, the less problems we will have in the future , since often the most critical situations are reached due to the ignorance of parents regarding their children. This causes these disputes, little by little, joining jealousy and envy, to increase and causing a possible attack of rage and fights.
It is possible that these situations of jealousy get out of control and the brothers fight very often, leading to blows or physical fights. If this happens we will have to have a talk with our children in which we will have to convey to them that they lose much more by being angry and fighting than by getting along and collaborating with each other. We will explain that it is possible that their brother or sister could one day become their best friend and a person to turn to when they have problems, and it would be positive to make them understand that their friends can change over time as they grow older. , but his family is forever and they will always be there.
If this goes further, to a hatred between brothers, perhaps we should turn to professionals who can help us solve this situation and little by little reduce the rivalry that exists between them.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.