In just a couple of months, many young people will know if they have been selected to enter university and start a new life. At last all those hours invested in studying have paid off and our children can start a new stage where for the first time they will be able to decide what really motivates them and they want to study . However, these months until you enter college can be tough for both students and parents. The former will be nervous as well as excited while the latter will be distraught thinking about everything that can happen to their child in an unfamiliar place.
HOW CAN I HELP MY SON IN HIS NEW LIFE?
Whether the young person is going to move to a Spanish city or to a foreign one there are many ways to help him as parents. Here we leave you with a basic guide to ensure that your child is well prepared for college.
1. Help him get settled
As soon as you have decided the city to which you are going to move to study, you have to start looking for an apartment, the sooner the better to avoid last minute surprises . Many parents are more comfortable sending their children to university residences . They are quite comfortable because they offer some services to make the new life of students easier, such as proximity to the faculty, laundry service, maintenance, meals, even common areas to play sports or study. The downside is the price, which can easily be around 1000 euros . On the other hand, a shared apartment is three times cheaper, although you have to be lucky with your colleagues and the area.
Whatever it is, don’t leave it for the last few weeks and talk about it as soon as possible. Once you know where you are going to move, it is advisable to go at least 15 days before to get used to being totally independent.
2. Go teaching him to do day-to-day tasks
When you go to the new city your child can be so excited that he practically forgets about the tasks he has to do. Go training him ahead of time and ask him to help you do the chores around the house . In which stores can I buy the best deals? What can you do if you get sick? How to put the washing machine correctly? What kinds of dishes are healthy and easy to prepare? Not only will he be taking practice but he will also give you a hand at home and you will have more time for yourselves.
By teaching him all these things, you will spend more time with the young man before he leaves home (which will strengthen the emotional ties between you), you will increase his confidence in himself and you will stay more calm because you will know that more or less “he can do it. fix “.
3. Manage a monthly budget
Living in a new city is complicated emotionally and also financially, no matter how cheap the destination of origin, the fact of living in a completely new place will unintentionally cause unforeseen expenses. It will take a few months for your child to know where the cheapest stores are, how many times he can afford to eat out per week or the money that he will need to spend per month on material, for example on photocopies. Try to make a list of all the expenses that he will have to face and teach him to manage the monthly money correctly.
On the other hand, if your son has not received a scholarship for his new life at university, you will have to be the one who pays him part or all of the expenses. In this sense, it is not good that you go overboard with money . Tell him that you are going to give him a fixed amount per month and that he has to cope regardless of what he tells you later. It is better that you start by giving it just enough and increase the budget if you see it necessary to give it a lot first and then gradually withdraw the amount, it is better to get used to economizing from the beginning that you have to do it in the middle of the course.
4. GET UP TO DATE ON NEW TECHNOLOGIES
It is essential if you want to keep in touch with your child when he goes to college. It is the fastest and cheapest way to communicate with him . A few years ago the fashion was emails, however WhatsApp is faster , not only will you be able to communicate at the moment with your child, but you can send photos and even audios to avoid having to write on the screen. It will be much more comfortable and direct for both of you. Telephone calls cannot be absent either. Companies usually offer packages that include flat rates with some of the contacts of your choice.
On the other hand, if you don’t want to be repeatedly ignored by your child, establish with him a time when he is available to be able to talk without being disturbed. It is better that you call him once a week and that you can talk 15 or 20 minutes quietly than that you call him every day and speak 1 or 2 because you catch him busy. You should also keep in mind that if your child calls you less and less it is because you have done your job well, you have managed to make him more independent, so, although sad, you should feel proud as a parent because you have managed to make him “a little” more independent . If he does not need to call you, it is because he will surely have integrated with his colleagues and everything will be fine.
5. Do not believe anxiety
It is very typical for overprotective parents to anticipate all kinds of misfortunes before your child even knows which city he is going to study in. It is very unpleasant and you will only be able to overwhelm him and reduce his self-esteem, cause him fear. With fear you will make him useless and diminish his confidence . If he or she is going to move anyway, what do you get by scaring him or her? because anticipating misfortunes doesn’t really help at all, just worrying about things that can’t even happen. Instead of creating problems, provide solutions.
6. Take care of yourself too
Talk to other parents who are in the same situation or have been through it so that they can help you if you seem overwhelmed. There are families that after the departure of their children from home (for example to a new city to study) suffer from the empty nest syndrome . They are feelings of extreme sadness, melancholy and loneliness related to that reason . If you think you may be suffering from something similar, ask for psychological help because, although it is considered more of a phase in life, a disorder can trigger depression if it is not controlled.