The development of sons and daughters on a positive basis is basic. That is why in this article we are going to try some tips so as not to sow in our little ones the seed of low self-esteem that can later evolve into bigger problems. And it is that even the smallest detail helps.
Maintain a close relationship with your son or daughter, often related to their positive education. It is not an easy task, but that does not mean that it is impossible.
To begin with, protection and affection for your little ones is key. As I always say, extremes are not good. By this I mean that we should not be or overprotectivenor being cold, it will help to be close to your child. You have to find a balance between the two. Convey affection to them, let them know that you are there if they need something, tell them how much you love them and take care of them but not at every possible moment. Try to do it with a certain distance with affection and advice, but without overwhelming them. This is linked to exploration. Overprotective parents tend to push their child away from the real world, trying to keep them out of danger even when they go shopping for a treat. Let them explore, that they can make mistakes and that way they will learn what to do and what not to do, as well as develop a more unique relationship with the parents. You learn from mistakes, right?
I always like to give an example. Imagine that your sons or daughters are attached to you by a rope. If you pull too much on the rope, you are restricting their freedom and overwhelming them . On the other hand, if you let him go too much, they can understand that he has free rein to do whatever he wants and he pulls the rope. Having a close relationship between father or mother and child consists of allowing freedom while extending the protective arm. That is, neither one thing nor the other, the middle ground is the proper position. More than anything because if your child sees that point of freedom reflected in you, they will feel more comfortable with you.
Another very important factor is understanding that each person is different. We cannot treat children, adolescents, or even adults as copies of our personality. You have to know your son but you do not want him to be made in the image and likeness of you because that is impossible. Each one has its own way of being and you have to love it for what it is and not for what you want it to be. Understand your son or daughter’s mistakes and help them overcome them.
However, I understand that it can be very tiring. That is why another basic aspect when it comes to having children and loving them is patience and dedication . It is positive to have a lot of patience and dedication since your child will feel supported and undoubtedly loved. Never fall short. Better than missing!
BEING FRIENDS WITH OUR CHILDREN, IS IT POSSIBLE AND POSITIVE?
With this we move on to the next positive point to consider and in which many parents fail. Where is the line between friendship and parenting? You have to try not to continually highlight the family hierarchy. This is the same as with the rope. It is important that they know who is in charge, but constantly branding it as a subliminal message is not healthy either. How do we make a positive effect? In this case, the positive is equal to dedication, understanding and kindness. It is true that you have the power but try to use it calmly. For example, if he is younger, and you are at a kiosk and your son wants to buy something, do not deny him everything or allow him everything. For example, tell him that he can buy two things and that when he finds them, he will let you know. The same can be applied, older, when going out . Don’t deny him the right to leave, but do tell him to let you know when he wants to. It is a way of hierarchy but not of imposition.
PUNISHMENT IN ADOLESCENTS
This point is linked to another; the punishments . Don’t constantly punish your child or let him do whatever he wants without reproach. And if it is linked to education then you have to be more understanding. If your child has failed a test, do not yell at or punish him. Sometimes through kindness we have better results. Express your discontent but at the same time show him that you trust that the next time he will go better, help him see what could have gone wrong and wait to see the result of the next exam . If it has gone better, then it is a good advance and it means that it has contributed dedication and effort not to fail in that point of confidence that you have given it. If it has gone just as badly, talk to him and let him explain what could have gone wrong. If your child is getting good grades in most subjects but there is some that resists him, this is normal! Not everything can be given equally well. Do you do all the housework equally well? Letting your child feel that you understand his position will only make him feel close to you and your relationship will strengthen.
SELF-ESTEEM AND COMMUNICATION
With regard to self-esteem, it must be reinforced. When you are young, you have a very different concept than you have after seven years . In this second age, you can begin to feel insecurities and that is why you have to be at the foot of the canyon. Both teachers and parents must convey the self-esteem that may be lacking. Praise your strengths and downplay your weaknesses. This is linked to class notes or assignments. Highlight the good things and downplay the things that have gone wrong, we all make mistakes!
If we deal with the issue of communication, we must be clear that we must not force our sons or daughters or cut them off. In adolescence you have to maintain a normal level of conversation. It is a stage in which many things change and they can develop insecurities at the age of seven but here the difference is that they must be the ones to solve their problems because if you do not make them feel unskilled and they are at that point of personal reaffirmation. This does not mean that we cannot help them, stop our feet at a certain point or talk to them . It is important that they know that you are there for them but without overwhelming them.
All these points are related because most refer to the field of communication and this in turn is directly related to the relationship you have with your child. So treat all the topics from a middle ground and try to be understanding with them. The basis of a close relationship is to put yourself in the role of the other along with dedication, understanding and kindness so that this affection becomes reciprocal.