I am a single or divorced mother, is it bad to look for a new partner?

If you are starting to read this article right now, I think you know the answer yourself but don’t worry because we are going to clarify it. Like every human being in life, we know a person and we can share more or less time and therefore sharing more or less responsibilities. In the event that you have spent time and on top of that you have shared great responsibilities with that person such as starting a family, it does not mean that you should not have a life of your own just because you are now a single mother .

LEARN TO SEPARATE PEOPLE AND FEELINGS

One of the concepts of a couple that have been defending each other for a long time and that is beginning to break down now is that once you get married you should not leave the couple for the responsibilities that concern you. That is a mistake since it does not have to do one thing with the other. A person can feel love and stop feeling it, but not because of this the son goes in the pack. As long as we are clear about that and continue to care for our child to the extent that we can or should, other options are clearly presented that are also positive .

If you have rebuilt your life and find yourself in a situation where you look good to start meeting someone new, of course you can. The important thing in these cases is to bear in mind that your ex-partner no longer has anything to do with yours (that is why you are a single mother) and has no right to claim anything about you because in many cases it can happen and we begin to feel confusion. Once it is clear that your family is now your child and you (of course respecting the former partner), you can meet someone new.

Another important factor is how your son or daughter can take it . You might think I’m going to tell you the typical “you shouldn’t start a relationship if your son doesn’t want to.” If you treat your child properly, you continue with the routine as if nothing has changed and it is still your number one priority, of course you can meet someone new. Here the problem is the child who may not have overcome the break with your ex-partner, if you had it previously, and does not conceive that you can meet someone new. They do not want replacements, but they do not realize that there is nothing to replace because there is no longer a love relationship with him.

In this case, you have to deal with the issue little by little and understand it because sometimes it is very comfortable for the son that his mother and father remain single and half pretend as if nothing had happened but that is a big mistake by the son. You have to understand how relationships work and realize that not everything lasts for life and nothing happens as long as you receive the same love that you received from your parents when they were together but now individually.

EXPLAIN TO THE CHILDREN

In the event that this happens, it is good that both of you talk to the child and explain the “family” situation. If the child still does not understand it, you will have to continue taking care of him as always but you must continue with your private life also because it is not good for the child that you consent to something that you cannot change.

Having clarified this point, you are a single mother and nothing happens . There are many people who have remained single and you find someone else. The important thing is to be clear that we have the right to rebuild our love life if we want to and that no one or nothing should stop us. People hardly endure a lifetime with a single partner since they are many years of relationship.

Another important factor to be strong with is that you don’t have to care what other people say. After all, they will surely talk, but keep walking and being clear that you have not hurt anyone and that you deserve the best.

In the event that you find someone you must take into account an important factor which is your sons or daughters. This time, your son has taken it well and has no problem.

Sometimes it happens that you start to know someone, you like him a lot and you prioritize your partner over your sons and daughters. This is a huge mistake.

TWO PEOPLE, TWO WORLDS

We must know how to maintain a balance between both worlds, so to speak. Life with your children is one thing and life with your new partner is another, but they should never compete. You must make time for both of them without minimizing the importance of either of them and this is the most difficult.

Sometimes even as young adult children (around 22 years old), they feel abandoned by their parents on an emotional level, which is one of the worst feelings you can have. For example, you used to see your son on Saturdays but now your attention is on your partner and you think that your son will not be affected by the fact that now you always spend Saturdays with your partner. This is a mistake. Nothing happens if you alter the days because your son or daughter can another day but your partner cannot. However, you must always maintain the same rate of visits for both of you because if you cannot transmit to your child a feeling of detachment depending on how affectionate he is.

We must never forget the rest of the world when we have a new partner, because it keeps turning and has not stopped. So the important thing in these cases is to talk with our children and clarify the possible days off but above all that it shows that you want to see them.

I hope that these little tips for a single mother have clarified some factors that can be somewhat complex once we want to meet someone new or we are already with a new partner sometimes due to the concept of family. You have the right as a single mother, as a woman and as a person, to meet whoever you want, but always maintaining a balance with your life as a mother, which will never disappear.