There are many people who look at the education of yesteryear with a certain resentment, but in reality, if you look closely, you can learn a lot . When in traditional discipline there is no overbearing, no aggressiveness and there is respect, great things can be learned that parents can apply today to raise their children. ‘Grandmother’s law’ is an effective discipline method and well worth knowing.
Grandma’s law is about teaching children that they will always have a choice if they want to earn their privileges and if they don’t want to take over the choice, they will simply lose those privileges. It gives them the opportunity to recognize that they have some control over the privileges they earn and when they earn them.
Grandma’s law or grandma’s discipline involves framing things as an incentive rather than just pointing out negative consequences . Instead of saying things like: ‘You will not have dessert if you do not eat everything you have on your plate’, according to Grandma’s Law the following can be said: ‘When you finish dinner, you can have dessert’. It sounds a lot better and it gives the children more motivation to do better and the arguments are reduced to zero.
Rather than using a more formal rewards system, Grandma’s Law are simply spontaneous reminders of how privileges are directly related to their behavior. In this way, children are given a reminder of what to do to achieve something else.
You don’t have to offer big rewards as an incentive, far from it! Instead, you just have to remind children that they can have their privileges when they meet your expectations. It is simple, fast and effective. Grandmothers are and always will be the wisest! If the child chooses not to do what you have said, they will not earn the privilege. As easy as this.
Grandmother’s Law is excellent for avoiding power struggles with children, because it is a discipline that makes it clear to children that they have a choice and that it is they who decide. The results that are received will depend on the behavior they show at each specific moment. This educational form of grandma also teaches children self-discipline as they learn to link their actions with results and this will help them make better decisions in the future.
EXAMPLES OF GRANDMA’S LAW
Grandma’s Law can basically work by tying a task to a specific privilege. Look at some examples and you will understand it better:
-When you have finished your homework you will be able to watch television for a while.
-As soon as you finish cleaning your bedroom you can play in the garden.
-When you finish washing the dishes you can bathe in the pool.
-When you finish sweeping and mopping the living room floor, you can play your video games for half an hour.
-When you put on your jacket and shoes we will go to the park.
CAN IT BE EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE?
Yes, it can be. Grandma’s law can be even more effective when you have enough time to wait for your child to complete his or her homework. For example, if you tell a child that as soon as he is ready to go to bed you will read him a story, perhaps the child will lose some time and you could end up reading the story an hour later, then how to handle this situation following the grandmother’s law?
In this type of situation, you can say things like, ‘If you’re ready to go to sleep in 10 minutes, we can have time to read a story.’ If it isn’t ready in 10 minutes, then you won’t have time to read the story.
It is also only effective when your child really has a choice. Do not say: ‘When you put your shoes on we will go to the store’, because you have to go to the store anyway, if you do, you will end up angry so that your child can put on the shoes as soon as possible and then this law will not have effectiveness. For it to be correct you will have to say something like: ‘When you put your shoes on we will go to the store and then play in the park for 10 minutes’.
WHAT IF IT DOESN’T WORK?
Grandma’s law will cease to be effective if you give in to your child. If you say something like, ‘You can have dessert as soon as you finish eating,’ but end up allowing your child to eat dessert even though he hasn’t finished his dinner, you will teach him that you don’t follow what you say. You have to be prepared. to comply with what you say.
Grandma’s Law wo n’t work either if you start offering rewards that are too big or extravagant. If you use too many rewards, your child will expect them and will even demand them. Instead you will have to use the privileges your child already has or use free or low cost rewards. You can even use improvised rewards at the same time such as: ‘play a few minutes on the tablet’, ‘do crafts’, ‘go out to play in the garden’, ‘go to the park’, etc.
We cannot deny that grandmothers are the wisest of any family. They have raised their children and are still able to continue teaching their children-turned-parents and grandchildren. The wisdom of the grandmothers cannot be despised, therefore, it is worth it that from time to time or at least in this, you take into account that the wisdom of the grandmother really is important. Educating children with options is something that has been done for centuries and that must be maintained because it is effective.
What is not effective, nor has it ever been and never will be, is the overly punitive and authoritarian parenting style where children are not respected. Children should feel understood, loved, and respected at all times. In this way they will have enough motivation to improve their behavior and when they have options that make them feel that they also have some control over the situation and that not everything is dictated by the adult.