My father has a girlfriend: how do I act with my stepmother?
At PregDream we give you solutions so that your children accept your new partner in the best possible way so that they do not see her as a threat or a substitute for their mother.
When a relationship breaks down, the situation is usually not easy for any of the parties involved, but if there are children involved, things are even worse. They become the center of attention of both parents, which does not prevent them from being damaged by the breakup or, at least they feel confused by the new circumstances . So much so that sometimes they don’t know what their behavior should be like.
If the breakup of a couple and the separation of a family is painful, it can be even more painful when other people appear on the scene. We refer to boyfriends of one of the parents . To begin with, they are people that children do not know and, in addition, they may come to think that they are coming to replace one of their parents, even themselves.
THE BREAKUP WILL BE PAINFUL FOR YOUR PARENTS
Although it may be topical, once a break occurs, the children stay with the mother and it is the father who leaves the family home . This ‘liberation’, despite having joint custody or seeing his children several days a week, means that he usually rebuilds his love life before his ex-wife.
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AT WHAT POINT ARE THE CHILDREN AND THE BRIDE TO MEET?
In most cases the father who has a girlfriend does not tell his children in a short time, much less if it is sporadic relationships. There is no specific waiting time to present the son to his future stepmother . Each case is different, both in terms of the people involved and the circumstances. What is convenient is that the children and the girlfriend do not know each other until it is a stable relationship.
Otherwise the minors, especially the youngest ones, could get confused when meeting various partners of their father in a short time. You have to find a space and a time when both the father and the children and the stepmother are comfortable. That is why, as far as possible, it is best to plan the first meetings . A dinner, a movie session or going to a sporting event are the most recurrent and guarantee a relaxed behavior by all parties involved.
PREPARING THE TERRAIN
When it comes to meeting our father’s partner, it is best that we all know what we are going to face. We already said that the best thing is to prepare the meeting and run away from coincidences, but also to meet the other person first. Since the father is going to be the connecting link, he has to be the one in charge of preparing the ground . We can ask you what is necessary about your new partner to make us feel comfortable with her.
IT WILL NOT REPLACE YOUR MOTHER, IT IS ONLY YOUR FATHER’S PARTNER
When it comes to meeting a new partner of their parents, children, especially the youngest ones, may come to think that it is a replacement for the other of their parents. It must be made clear to them from the first moment that this is not the case. They also have to know if there is a possibility that this woman will become their stepmother and what role she occupies in her father’s life , because the role she will play in her own will depend on that.
CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOR
But it is not only the father or his girlfriend who has to worry about maintaining a good relationship with the children, they have to do the same. When they are young they may not understand very well l a situation and react well or terribly wrong . They are children, so they cannot be required to understand first a circumstance that differs from what they have known – the traditional family model.
DON’T BE CHILDISH WITH YOUR STEPMOTHER
For this reason and because it is at this time when they begin to be adults and to brag about it is when they have to behave as such. Childish behavior on your part can end up damaging your father’s new relationship , but it can also spoil your own relationship with what may become your stepmother.
EACH ONE HAS ITS PLACE
The relationship of a father with his partner has nothing to do with the one he has with his son. That must always be taken into account, so there is no need to fear for the people who come into the life of our parent . They don’t come to drive us away and they will probably make him very happy. That is why the adolescent son has to think about his father and his happiness. He may not have any points in common with his father’s girlfriend at first, but he has to find them. She will probably do the same.
You must both do it with the aim of seeking your father’s happiness. To do this, you will flee from conflicts and seek common ground, which can range from hobbies or topics of conversation. Most relationships between a child and his stepmother are not problematic, but they do require effort on both sides and time . Time for each one to know how to adapt to new circumstances.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.