Being a mother can be the most wonderful thing in the world, but it can also be the most exhausting. It is exhausting at sleepless nights, because caring for a newborn child is tiring and because as it grows, fatigue will also be present in your life. But there is also another part of motherhood that can be even more exhausting: dealing with the advice of other people, who have children or not, but who feel too free to give you advice. Some advice that on many occasions is not well received.
Above all, if you are a new mother, it is likely that you will receive advice everywhere and the worst thing is that it will make you doubt yourself, your instinct, you will think that you are confused or that there are things that you do not know how to do well. Unfortunately, there are new mothers who take too much advice and this causes them too much insecurity.
The advice is very good, and on many occasions it is likely to be done with the best intention in the world … But no one has to get involved in your most personal decisions, especially when it comes to raising your children.
THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN … IT IS YOUR INSTINCT
Maybe you don’t want to breastfeed your baby and they tell you that breastfeeding is the best thing … Don’t let anyone intimidate you in your decision. If you have clear ideas that you want to feed your baby formula, why should you change your mind? Or the other way around, if you want to breastfeed on demand and until your children want to, what does it matter to others if you want to breastfeed your child even when he is 6 years old? Nobody has to get into it.
The same happens if you want to sleep in co-sleeping with your children or if, on the contrary, you prefer that your little one sleeps in his crib from the first moment … It is your decision! Don’t let other people decide for you. Do not do things that you really do not want to do, listen to your instinct, which is the one that can really guide you to choose the best decision for both you and your baby.
These are just two examples, but there are many more, such as the clothes you put on him, how you educate him, if you take him too much or too little, if you are spoiling him … Anyway, there are so many advice and comments that They can be considered unfortunate even if they are well-intentioned that you will have to arm yourself with patience.
DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S ADVICE
To be able to deal with other people’s advice, you will have to be patient, but it is also important that you use empathy and assertiveness . A person who advises you does not try to tell you things to make you feel bad … Far from it. He believes that what he is saying is helping you, without realizing that it is critical and that it can even be destructive.
For this reason, if they tell you any comment and you do not like it, think that they are not doing it with bad intentions but use assertiveness so that they feel that you have received the message, that you feel grateful and ready. For example, you can say something like: ‘Thank you very much for your advice, I will take it into account when necessary.’
In this way, the other person receives that you have listened to what they are saying, but they will know that you have your own ideas and that you will do what you think is convenient, whether you want to heed or ignore their advice.
If at any time you perceive that someone is getting too involved in your life or you even feel discomfort by what they tell you, you can say something like: ‘Thank you for your advice, but if I have more questions I will consult the specialist’.