Tantrums are frustrating for all of us and we have to work not to jump in and solve the problem or express discontent with emotion. There are some phrases that will be very good for you when your children have tantrums because they will help them to calm down more quickly and above all, to understand what is happening to them.
Any parent knows the impending sense of dread that begins to mount as children drop to the ground ready for what is likely to be the next big crisis. Little people who learn to navigate big feelings can get to the best of us. As you try to counter the inevitable explosion, consider the following list of soothing phrases to say to your child when he is having a crisis.
IT SEEMS THAT YOU ARE UPSET AND ANGRY
By saying this phrase, your child will know that you are understanding his emotions and therefore that you can identify what is happening to him. This will allow you to recognize the emotion that is bothering you and above all, to be able to talk about those feelings.
I SOMETIMES GET ANGRY TOO, LET’S SOLVE THIS TOGETHER
Let your children know that they are not alone and that what they feel is absolutely normal. As they interact with you, you can help them find mechanisms and techniques for coping with their feelings. You will be his teacher when it comes to the emotions he feels at all times, help him manage them well!
MAYBE I CAN TEACH YOU TO DO IT ANOTHER WAY
In the midst of their emotions, children may not recognize that there is another way to achieve what they are trying to do. Instead of jumping in and completing the task for them, or getting frustrated with their behavior, try offering to help them find another solution.
THIS IS HARD FOR YOU, LET’S TAKE A BREAK AND TRY AGAIN IN 5 MINUTES
Depending on what is causing the frustration and what environment you are in, determine what kind of rest would be helpful . Being able to go back to task with a calm and clear head will help most children persevere and overcome their obstacles.
I AM HERE TO HELP YOU IF YOU NEED ME
Jumping up and helping without being asked can give children the impression that you don’t think they will be able to complete the task on their own. However, allowing them the freedom to ask for help without feeling like a failure will build their confidence to succeed.
IT’S OKAY TO CRY, I’LL BE HERE WHEN YOU’RE READY
Validate that what you feel is okay. Knowing that you are around them when they are calm and ready lets children know that they are supported no matter what.
I’M SORRY THAT THIS YOU FEEL IS NOT FAIR
Just because it doesn’t feel fair doesn’t mean it’s going to change, but let kids know that they are allowed to get frustrated with circumstances. Every child is different, what works for one will not work for another.
It is important to know your child, since. knowing their behavior will help resolve tantrums before they start. However, once a tantrum has started, it is more important that we remain calm and consistent when helping our children navigate those feelings.
Tantrums are frustrating for all of us and we have to work not to jump in and solve the problem or express our dissatisfaction with their display of emotion. In the long run, supporting children’s emotional growth with vocabulary, empathy, and confidence will help them navigate these feelings in future events, increasing their emotional intelligence.