When someone tells us that they have teenage children, the image of boys with churning hormones and in a bad mood , antisociable, irritable, sensitive, etc., immediately comes to mind . You will see very few parents who say that their teenagers are calm, collected and that they get very good grades. Parents usually always complain about their relationship with their children in that sense.
Adolescence is a complicated stage, it fills a lot of anxiety and stress . In this period, the boys face a whole revolution of hormonal reactions that produce both physical and mental changes. To all this is added that adolescents struggle every day with situations that trigger stress. The institute, the exams, the family and social conflicts, the hormones that make their body a roller coaster of sensations … As their body changes, their character is also defined. It is a time in which freedom is sought but in which security is also needed.
Still, many parents view teens as “screaming little monsters” who don’t try or cooperate at home or in class. Therefore, today we are going to focus on positive aspects that adolescents also have.
1. MENTAL QUICKNESS
Who could keep the mental speed these guys have! It is clear that having mental speed does not mean being more intelligent, but intelligence depends on the ability we have to face our problems using the skills and knowledge that we possess in an appropriate way . However, there is one thing that we lose throughout our lives with age: processing speed. Its peak is between 15 and 20 years .
Then it remains stable for a few more years and from then on it begins to slowly decline.
Logically we make up for this “slowness” with knowledge and experience, however we will not process the information as quickly as the youngest and it will cost us more to get involved in new tasks and learning ( languages , sports …). Hence the saying “Old dog does not learn new tricks” is not entirely wrong.
2. THEY VALUE FRIENDSHIP
It is clear that adults do it too, but not in the same way. For adolescents, social relationships are very important to have a healthy psychological development . They need someone to talk to, vent to, and share their concerns. We adults already have the world half discovered but for adolescents everything is new. As much as we support them, in the end, adolescents tend to listen more to their peers than to their parents and educators . Adolescents may value friendship more than adults because it is the main form of relationship they have, adults are usually more involved in romantic or family relationships and friendships take a back seat as the years go by.
3. GREATER TOLERANCE
It depends on the boy since each one is different, but it is true that in general adolescents have less prejudice than their parents. The reason is simple, we have lived experiences that make us reflect on our lives and those of other people. Prejudices are built from the negative experiences that we are living , and are often also transmitted from parents to children. It is from this stage that adolescents internalize what they live and learn. This means that if part of the attitudes that you have towards others you are going to “transmit” them to them. But this does not have to be negative, just as “the bad” is transmitted, you can also use it to convey “the good”.
4. THEY HAVE GREAT ENERGY
We refer to the fact that they have “more desire” to do things, to get involved in activities, to live life, more interest … They enjoy hobbies more than adults and surely also become more obsessed. Why is the same not the case with adults? Probably due to lack of time, work and because we have to deal with “adult problems” on a daily basis. In adolescence, boys maintain that characteristic energy and become more involved in activities . Sometimes even that positivity and energy is passed on to parents, encouraging them to improve as well.
5. CRITICS OF THE WORLD
Another positive aspect is that many of them see the world as we see it today. Because that’s how things are? Why do we have to do this? The more “awake” and curious adolescents often say things that even their parents would not have seriously considered. They make us think and see reality differently.
6. SENTIMENTAL AND CREATIVE
All that emotional turmoil had to serve for something. Effectively! In adolescence, feelings are exalted, everything is lived with greater intensity, it can be bad if things are taken too seriously but it can also be positive if we channel those emotions for artistic purposes. In adolescence, it is easy to find inspiration . So if your child is interested in the arts, it will be the ideal stage to motivate and “exploit” him. As we have said before in adolescence, learning is easier and if we add inspiration to that, progress in a certain activity will be more than evident.
Although they may not want to admit it, teenagers love to do things as a family. 90% of the time they will want to spend it with friends but that does not mean they want to completely isolate themselves from the rest. Young adults spend less time with the family, among other things because they are busier (studies, work …) and will have to organize themselves to share their time with friends, relationships and relatives. However, adolescents usually do not have this problem (the first years of high school are not so stressful and there is usually no stable relationship).
On the other hand, children of these ages will have a better time as a family if you do “exclusive” activities with him. Boys like to feel “important” especially when there are more siblings involved. Find a little time a day to do something with your teenager (play something together, go for a walk, share a hobby … or just take a few minutes to talk with him (you can get his opinion on something). If you can make him feel needed and he perceives that you have an interest in him, you will have earned it.