Many married couples break up and end in divorce because trust runs out. Trust is key to any relationship between people and it is even more so in a marriage, where in principle, a family nucleus is built that aims to last forever. Confidence in an intimate relationship is based on feeling safe with another person.
Infidelity, lies, or broken promises can seriously damage the trust of a marriage. This does not necessarily mean that a marriage cannot be saved. While rebuilding trust can be challenging when there is a significant gap … if you are both committed to achieving it, it can be done.
THE BROKEN PIECES
It takes a lot of time and effort to restore the sense of security that is necessary for a marriage to prosper and continue to grow. Recovering from what has happened to break trust is where many couples get stuck. It is necessary to address 5 key points to overcome a breach of trust:
- Know the details of what happened
- Releasing anger in a healthy way
- Show a commitment to joint improvement
5 KEY POINTS TO KEEP IN MIND
Here we talk in detail about these five key points:
- Know the details. Even when it comes to infidelity, knowing the details has two sides: you have to be sincere and honest with the information. In this way the betrayed party will have a broader understanding of the situation.
- Release anger. Having pent-up anger can lead to mental, emotional, and even physical health problems. Although it can be tempting to suppress anger and emotions, it is necessary to reflect on the feelings that are being experienced. Your partner should be aware of these feelings.
- Show commitment. Both parties must ask themselves if the relationship is still right for them and if it is worth fixing. It takes acts of empathy: sharing pain, frustration, and anger. Showing remorse and regret , leaving room for acknowledgment and validation of hurt feelings … this is healing for both parties. You have to consider what needs to be worked on to maintain the commitment and make the relationship work. Avoid using words that can trigger conflict.
- Rebuild trust. Specific goals and realistic deadlines must be set for the marriage to get back on track. Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time and requires forgiveness, being open to growth, being aware of feelings, and that you really want everything to work out.
- Rebuild the relationship. With real commitment on the part of both, it is possible to rebuild a relationship that has been broken by any kind of betrayal. It is important that if you really want to rebuild the relationship, it is because you love each other and you want everything to work. Saving the family nucleus is important, especially for the good of the children, but it is also very important that the reasons why you want everything to work out are above all, because you love each other as a couple and you want to be even better parents.
If for whatever reason, things as a couple are not going well even if you have tried, then it is better for your children to have parents who get along well even if they are in separate houses than parents who try to be together but actually only get angry or talk badly and lose respect.
In this sense, remember that it is more important to fight for the family nucleus than for a relationship that may not be able to recover. Although if you think that you can regain confidence in your marriage and that everything goes back to the way it was before … it’s worth a try! Set realistic time frames so you don’t live in eternal suffering .