If my son does not listen to me because he does not want to, do I have to punish him?
If your child ever pretends not to listen to you, should you punish him or is it better to act differently?
This type of behavior can frustrate even the most experienced parent . When children do not listen to their parents it can be very irritating. They may “not hear you” because they are not interested in what you are saying, such as when you tell them to stop playing ball indoors or that it is time to turn off the television and go to sleep.
Below we are going to give you some guidelines so that you can use them when your child decides that he prefers not to listen to you in order to get away with it or simply because he does not feel like doing what you say. Is it necessary to punish him? What is the best way to educate him at this time without losing his cool or nervous? We’ll tell you then.
Index
FIND A FORM OF DISCIPLINE
When your child breaks the rules when he does not listen to you, you will have to find a way to discipline him to change this behavior . Ignoring your requests for help or not listening to your instructions are examples of disrespectful behavior that you should discourage. Using effective discipline helps teach your child the importance of listening, following rules, and respecting authority.
TRUST THE NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
Rely on natural consequences to discipline your child . It is not about punishing punitively, far from it. What is involved is that the child learns that each action that he chooses to take will have natural consequences that he will have to assume and that will not always be to his liking.
When your child doesn’t listen to you when you tell them it’s time to do their homework and they get a bad grade, that’s their natural consequence. Experiencing disappointment from your teacher and other possible consequences associated with poor grades, such as not having certain privileges, often teaches you one more lesson than the lengthy talk you want to give at home.
Take away the privilege you like the most
When your child plays not listening to you, you can take away his favorite privilege as a consequence of his actions. If your child likes to ride his bike with his friends in the afternoons, take that privilege away from him when he is not listening. They are more likely to listen to you in the future when they realize that ignoring you will cause them to lose something they like.
WAIT TIME WORKS
Put your child on a time out so that he is aware of what he should do and what you expect of him. This shouldn’t be a punishment either , it should be a consequence that generally works best with toddlers and preschoolers, but is also effective for older children . The recommended rule of thumb is that you put your child on time-out for one minute per year of age. For example, if your child is 8 years old, the waiting time should be eight minutes.
BEWARE OF THREATS
If you threaten your child you are being aggressive . It is not a matter of threatening him, but you must warn him of the consequences that will arise and that you will have to apply if you ask him for something and he does not comply or “does not listen to you.” Do not tell him trivial consequences that you will not comply with, such as that if he does not stop playing with the ball indoors, he will not play with the ball for the rest of his life … because this is not real.
You can’t really punish him for the rest of his life , which means you only lose credibility when you tell him that you will and won’t follow through. Follow through with your decision to enforce consequences and don’t give in, no matter what your child does next. If your child complains, cries , begs or yells at you until you give up, he begins to learn that this behavior will get him what he wants in the future, which only reinforces his bad behavior.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.