What to think if your child doesn’t care about the consequences
Does it seem like your child doesn’t care about the consequences of his behavior? Ask yourself these questions and reflect.
You may think that you can no longer do anything else, that your child is superior to you, that parenting has gotten out of hand. They seem to care little about the consequences of their bad behavior (such as waiting time or loss of privileges). And what’s worse … when things get worse, he laughs when you explain that he will have consequences for his bad behavior.
Just because your child acts like he doesn’t care about the consequences doesn’t necessarily mean that your discipline isn’t effective. If it seems that your child does not care about the consequences you apply, then there is. Some questions you should ask yourself in case you see that your child ‘passes’ the consequences that you impose.
Index
DO YOU REALLY NOT CARE?
Your child may say something like, ‘I don’t care’ when you take away a privilege because of their bad behavior. In reality, losing these privileges can matter a lot to him, he just doesn’t want to give you the power of his emotions. Just because your child says they don’t care doesn’t make it true. He might be very upset about the consequence you have chosen and should continue to use despite his comments.
Pay less attention to their comments and pay more attention to their behavior . If he continues to break the same rules, you may need to find a new, more effective consequence. You may find that your consequences prevent him from making the same mistake again, even though he claims that your punishments do not affect him
DO YOU USE THE CORRECT CONSEQUENCES?
Consider the type of consequences you are using to address the bad behavior. If it is true that removing some privileges can be a good idea, you should think carefully which consequence is better according to the context.
Not all consequences work the same for all children, perhaps one does well with the waiting time and another does not, or perhaps one does better with positive reinforcement than another. You must know your child to know which consequence will work best in each case. You have to adapt the discipline to the educational needs of your child.
ARE YOU DOING IT AT THE RIGHT TIME?
For the consequences to be effective, they should not be expected in time, they must occur immediately after the misbehavior or as soon as possible. If, for example, you discover that your 5-year-old son painted the wall behind his bed and did it 2 weeks ago, the consequences you apply to him will not be as effective as if you had applied them right after it happened.
The amount of time you give the consequence is another factor to consider. If you put a 12-year-old on the timeout for 2 minutes, they probably won’t mind at all. In fact, at this age, you might think going to your room is a privilege so waiting time in your bedroom is even a bad idea. In this same case, perhaps taking the electronic devices away for six months will not be a good idea either. Consequences that go on too long cause children to lose motivation to change behavior.
Children who receive consequences that are too harsh do not worry about earning their privileges. But consequences that are too mild will not teach them a correct lesson either. Create consequences that are time sensitive and specific to your child’s maturity level, such as removing an electronic device for 24 hours.
WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES THAT WORK BEST?
The consequences that work best will depend on your child and the context in which the misbehavior occurs. But as a general rule, waiting time to reflect on what happened and understand emotions, as well as temporarily withdrawing privileges until they get them again, are two excellent ideas that can help you improve children’s behavior.
Sometimes finding the appropriate consequences for your child is a bit of trial and error. If your child’s behavior doesn’t change when you take away his electronic devices, you may be better off assigning him additional chores. Therefore, think carefully about what consequences may be most effective for your child. It is important to remember that behavior problems usually get worse just before they get better. For example, if you ignore the tantrums, your child will scream louder, but this does not mean that the strategy does not work well.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.