Talking about difficult topics with your children: what you should know

Talking to children about difficult topics is never easy. Young children may ask about death, about sex, pornography, divorce, drugs, wars, people who commit crimes, body image, etc. Parents try to find the correct words to be able to talk about it, although some reject the conversation because they do not feel ready to be able to talk about it.

But it is not a good idea to leave these types of conversations aside and for children to end up looking for information on the Internet. It is important to have conversations so that children get information from the most trusted sources in their lives: from their parents. When discussing difficult topics with children, don’t miss out on these things you need to know.

It is not necessary to have a great talk, the secret is to seize the opportunities in life or. Your innate curiosity to tackle these issues with a series of little tips. Remember that you don’t need to have all the answers, and if you don’t, it’s important to help your child find age-appropriate information and talk about it. Even if there are conversations that are uncomfortable for you, you are the right person to talk about these topics with your children … from honesty and sensitivity,

YOU DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO YOURSELF

Remember, you are not conversing with yourself. There is no need to prepare a monologue. These conversations are exchanges between two (or more) people in which you listen as much as you talk. Allow your child to ask questions and give yourself permission to ask questions as well. Providing space for silence , contemplation, and connection is also necessary.

YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IT FIRST

If you do not know something it is important that you do not say information that you do not know if it is true. It is best to tell your children that you do not know at the time and that you will inform yourself so you can talk about it later. You may also need to tell your child that you are getting divorced or that a member of your family has died. Other times, the child may start a conversation in the car, at dinner, or at another time. There you are, brushing your teeth or moving the paste and your son surprises you with a question: “Is grandma going to die ?”

When he catches you off guard, it’s best to say something like, “I want to answer your question, give me a few minutes to think and let’s talk about this now, okay?”

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DAILY OPPORTUNITIES

Perhaps at some point your child will act out at the least opportune moment. But that can be a great opportunity to talk with your child about how some comments may not be very appropriate at times. Every day is a new day to try again. If you look back and think; ‘Could have said it better’, come back and say it better! Parenting is what allows you to do this.

The funny thing is, these difficult conversations seem to be the most difficult right before we have them. The anticipation of talking about sex, pornography, death, or other sensitive topics can make your stomach clench and your hands break to sweat. But once you start the conversations , something beautiful happens. Our children open up, connect with them and learn. Conversations get easier.

THE BIGGEST REWARD

Children know that you are willing to be the ideal person whenever they have to turn to when they have a problem, a question or a concern … regardless of the topic, and you must respond to this role with integrity. In this way you will earn your position as the best source of trust .

If you are brave enough to have these conversations in the early years, when the doubts are small, you will be lucky enough to be the person your child turns to later, when the doubts are big. The discomfort is worth it.