What to do if your teenager does not speak to you
If your teenager is not talking to you, should you play along or use other strategies? We’ll tell you then.
Sometimes teens “punish” their parents in the only way they can: by ignoring them. This means that they stop talking to you in a desperate attempt to make them see that they are in control of the situation, when in reality, what is happening is that they feel emotionally overwhelmed and do not know how to show their feelings in a somewhat more appropriate way.
As a parent, the fact that your adolescent takes your word from you in an attempted adolescent tantrum can make the home environment very tense and therefore resent the coexistence. For this reason, below we are going to give you some tips to guide your adolescent son who does not speak to you and to restore harmony at home and above all, in your relationship between father / mother and adolescent child.
Index
WHEN HE DOESN’T TALK TO YOU
Even the most communicative parent can feel bad when their child stops talking to them. When your teenager closes in and doesn’t want to communicate with you except with a sullen expression, it can be tempting to punish him or reciprocate with the same mode of communication: short and hostile. Although this is not a good idea in any of the cases.
However, it is important to remember that this type of behavior is a mechanism by which your teenager gains control over a situation that he does not like. By letting him know that you are not playing his game, he will be more likely to come to you when he is ready to talk.
SEND THE RIGHT MESSAGE
If your child stops talking to you to control the situation in his own way, you must first send him a clear message that his behavior is not going to work for him. Let him know that you understand what he’s trying to do and why it won’t work by saying something like, “I know you want to stay up late on Saturday, but not talking to me won’t help your cause. Let me know when you’re willing to talk about this , about otherwise you will not go at all. ” This sends the message that you are still in control of the situation and that the ball is in your child’s court.
OFFER A CONSEQUENCE
Your teen needs to know that not talking to you is an unacceptable way to behave and therefore requires a consequence. If your child is texting with his back to you, you can say something like, “I know you’re mad at me right now, but it’s not fair to keep talking to your friends and not talk to me . No phone or privileges until that you are ready to communicate with me. ” Your teen will see that not only talking to you is ineffective, but it also has negative consequences.
DO NOT DO THE SAME
It’s too easy to get down to the less mature level of your child and play the same unacceptable game in a parent-child relationship. After all, it probably hurts and you don’t feel like communicating . But treating your child the same only hurts your relationship by making him feel insecure. While it can be a difficult pill to swallow, stay calm and be open to communication when your child is ready to talk.
BE OPEN
The fact that she stops talking to you can be stopped when your teen realizes that it isn’t working, after which they are likely ready to talk. You will need to be open when you want to communicate and be willing to listen before making a decision rather than leaving it completely out of it. If your teen really has a good argument for lengthening his curfew, talk about the pros and cons and make a decision together, adding another 30 minutes, maybe. By being open to conversation , you show your teen that the best way to get what he wants is through intelligent communication, not by stopping talking.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.