Raising a strong-willed child

Having a child with a strong character is good parenting news as they are strong children who can cope with challenges, but you need to teach them sensitivity so that they grow into amazing teens and adults. Strong-willed children have a good motivation and predisposition to achieve the things that interest them and are almost impervious to peer pressure. Although parents are sometimes reluctant to impose their will, these children very often become leaders.

HOW ARE CHILDREN WITH STRONG CHARACTER

Some parents call them “difficult children” or “too stubborn”, but children with strong characters can also be those who find it difficult to change their point of view. But rather than saying that they are “difficult children”, perhaps it would be more correct to say that they are “insightful children.” Strong-willed children are children who want to learn things for themselves instead of just accepting what others say, which is why they put them to the test over and over again. They are passionate children who live fully, they know what they want.

TWO PEOPLE ARE NEEDED FOR POWER STRUGGLES

Strong-willed children are sometimes prone to power struggles with their parents. However, it takes two to have a power struggle … parents should not attend every argument the child makes. Sometimes it is necessary to take a deep breath and remember that it is a good idea to know how to choose your battles well, do not let your 4-year-old make you act like a 4-year-old.

EMPATHY WILL HELP YOU COOPERATE

Children of strong character do not like to be told what to do and that is why the parents in the upbringing should make them feel understood at all times in the upbringing, respecting their needs and their person. It is important to treat children with empathy , giving them options to choose from, understanding mutual respect. You always need to look for win-win solutions. They need to learn negotiation and compromise skills .

THEY ARE NOT AS DIFFICULT AS THEY SEEM

These children who seem so difficult are not at all. If they don’t feel that their integrity is compromised and they are allowed to choose, then they will cooperate smoothly. If you believe as a parent that obedience is an important quality, now would be a good opportunity for you to begin to reconsider that thought. It is logical that you want to raise a child who is responsible , considerate, cooperative and who does the right thing, but that does not imply that he has to obey blindly. This implies doing the right thing because you want to do the right thing and not because they force you to see that it is part of good parenting.

OBEDIENCE IS NOT A WAY TO EDUCATE IN PARENTING

As I mentioned in the previous article, it is a good idea to reconsider if obedience is something positive for your child’s education. Morality is doing what is right, regardless of what they tell you. Instead obedience is doing what you are told, regardless of what is right.

It is normal that you want your child to do what you want but not because he is obedient, so your child should feel that he is in control of his actions and that if he heeds what you say it is because he wants to do it. This is how you will be able to raise a child who has self-discipline , who takes responsibility, who is considerate, and who has enough discernment to figure out who to trust and when he can be influenced and should not go down that path.

If you break your child’s will and do not allow him to be himself, then you are leaving open the influence of other people, something that can very often hurt him. Furthermore, allowing this is a betrayal we do to you as parents. Strong-willed children can be very energetic and persistent , but they also have fabulous qualities and can cooperate with you without constant power struggles.

TIPS FOR PARENTS

If you have a son with a strong character, it is likely that you will not get some tips to avoid power struggles and that coexistence is a little more peaceful, especially if you also consider yourself a person with a strong character.

– Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules. In this way children will know what is expected of them at all times and will not feel the need to fight against the rules.

– Children with strong characters are experimental learners . This means that they have to see for themselves if, for example, the stove is hot as you say so that it does not touch it. They are children who learn through experience, because trying to control them is not an option.

– They want to learn by themselves . Strong-willed children want to learn so don’t scold them if they do something wrong and offer them strategies to do better. If necessary, give him the necessary instructions so that he knows how to take care of himself and be more independent.

– Give him options and alternatives. For children to feel that they have choices and that they can control their decisions (and that they are masters of their destiny), you need to offer them alternatives to choose. These alternatives must be consistent with your values ​​and principles and, furthermore, they must be alternatives that you approve and consider appropriate.

– Don’t lose sight of authority . If, for example, it is cold and your child does not want to wear a jacket, you should make it clear that he is the owner of his body as long as it remains safe and healthy, so he must decide whether to use one jacket or another, or at least put it on the backpack to decide later whether to put it on or not.

– Do not fall into power struggles. The force will always cause a fight so it is necessary not to fall into the error of power struggles because then you will only find that your son will challenge you. It is better to breathe and remember that you must choose the battles, because if you are always in a fight you can lose the most important thing for you: the relationship.