How to be a father after being widowed
If you have recently become a widow, do not miss the best tips to be able to behave like an exemplary father.
If you are widowed because your wife has passed away and you have children, the pain you will feel in your chest and in your heart cannot be described in words. You will feel that no one can understand you and that your pain will never pass … But you have children and for them, you must continue forward. They too will be devastated by the loss of their mother. How will you raise your children when you feel so much pain? How can you balance work, children and so much suffering ?
You must face a harsh and terrible reality, created as a result of the death of the love of your life. The first thing you will need to do is seek and accept help. Communicate with your children and know that your family always comes first. If you are in this difficult situation, do not miss these tips …
Index
HAVE TIME TO CRY AS A FAMILY
The grieving process after the loss of your partner and mother of your children can take a long time, and time cannot be accelerated. Both you and your children will have to go through the stages of grief as they occur and stick together.
Just because one family member is grieving and another is ready to move on doesn’t mean everyone can. Each has its own rhythm of grief. Time can help wounds heal even if scars never go away.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF NECESSARY
Especially for children, the process of grieving and learning to cope with a mother can be difficult and complicated. Feelings are really complex: they may feel guilty about Mom’s death, they may lose the warmer and enriching side that Dad hasn’t developed yet, and they may be angry with God or nature for taking their mom away.
Sometimes connecting with a good family therapist and taking advantage of their professional training can yield great results. Talk to your doctor to find out if there is a psychological service in your area that you need as a family at this time.
ACCEPT THE HELP THEY OFFER YOU
There are few things more tragic in family life than losing a mother and a wife. When friends, neighbors, and extended family members offer help, you must be willing to accept it graciously and give others the opportunity to be close to you during these difficult times.
An offer of babysitting while you make time for yourself can be a welcome relief and should not be refused. Some may offer food; other money. Some may offer to take care of the house or clean your home. Learn to be a gracious recipient of the service of others … they do it from the heart.
MAINTAIN FAMILY TRADITIONS
This can be especially tough, but it is what brings stability to a family. They are predictable at a time when there is so much chaos. Therefore, keep family traditions even after your partner is gone.
Decorate the Christmas tree on time; don’t ignore tradition just because you don’t feel like doing it. Your children need it. Take some time in the summer for a family vacation, even if it has to be a modest vacation because in the face of the loss the family finances have been seriously affected.
ORGANIZATION IN YOUR LIFE
Many of the family routines may have been the responsibility of mom and now it is up to the widowed father to assume them. The more “routine” the tasks can be, the easier the transition will be. Getting organized for things like doing laundry, shopping, and cleaning will help ease the transition from a widowed parent to being a single parent and take some of the stress out of everyday life.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR PERSONAL BALANCE
Many widowed parents neglect their own physical, mental, or emotional health while going through this transition. They rightly focus on their children but if they neglect their health they can end up having problems, or if they do not eat well or do not take care of their emotions.
If you take care of yourself physically or get up a little earlier each morning to meditate, you don’t just do it for yourself … you do it for your children . Now they need you more than ever and you must take care of yourself because you cannot fail them.
FIND A SUPPORT GROUP
You can look for a support group with people who have also survived the death of their partners and who also have children. Your funeral director can help you find these support groups, or you can even search on social media.
If, for example, your partner was a victim of cancer, almost all cancer hospitals sponsor a survivor support group. Taking time to connect with others who are going through a similar situation can really pay off. Some of these dads even meet in playgroups during the week or on weekends so the children can play and interact while interacting with the other dads.
INVEST TIME IN CHILDREN
As much as you miss your recently deceased partner, your children will miss their mother much more. The emotional pain over the loss of a mother is extremely great. Your children will need you to spend more time with them as a family and in person. Children are resilient, but the trauma they experience from losing a mother can take a long time to get better. Showing your unconditional love for them will help heal their own grieving heart.
If you are a recently widowed parent, you will need to find support and help to get through the tough days to come. You will need advice, be aware that the process is slow and that there will be many moments in the next few months that will make your heart hurt again and again. If you feel that the transition and the grieving process is being especially hard, then seek professional help so that you can assess your emotional state and above all, that can help you cope with the grieving situation you are going through. Remember your wife every day of your life, because her memory will eventually become an internal force that will allow you to continue fighting and be by the side of your children.
Dr. Tabriella Perivolaris, Sara's mother and fan of fashion, beauty, motherhood, among others, about the female universe. Since 2018 she has been working as a copywriter, always bringing to her articles a little of her experience and experience as a mother and woman.